The Lighter Side   of Teachders


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A critic is a legless man who teaches running. 

--Channing Pollock

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. 

--Robert Benchley

A rattlesnake that doesn't bite teaches you nothing. 

--Jessamyn West

America is the only country left where we teach languages so that no pupil can speak them. 

--John Erskine

Bores bore each other too; but it never seems to teach them anything.

  --Don Marquis

Children today are tyrants.  They contradict their parents, gobble their food, and tyrannize their teachers. 


Dad taught me everything I know. Unfortunately, he didn't teach me everything he knows. 

--Al Unser, Jr.

Eighteen holes of golf will teach you more about your foe than eighteen years of dealing with him across a desk. 

--Grantland Rice

Experience is a good teacher, but she sends in terrific bills. 

--Minna Thomas Antrim

Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and you get rid of him on weekends. 

--Gary Apple

I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers. 

--Woody Allen

Rossini would have been a great composer if his teacher had spanked him enough on the backside. 

--Gioacchino Rossini

Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years. 

--George Burns

Spoon feeding in the long run teaches us nothing but the shape of the spoon. 

--E. M. Forster

The schoolteacher is certainly underpaid as a childminder, but ludicrously overpaid as an educator. 

--John Osborne

To be good is noble, but to teach others how to be good is nobler -- and no trouble. 

--Mark Twain

When I was in junior high school, the teachers voted me the student most likely to end up in the electric chair. 

--Sylvester Stallone

You can't teach an old dogma new tricks. 

--Dorothy Parker



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